Happiness Happens
August is Happiness Happens month, a wonderful opportunity to focus on cultivating joy and wellbeing in our lives. While happiness is often seen as an elusive goal, it's actually a mindset and a skill that can be learned and practised.
The human brain is inherently wired to prioritise negative information. This tendency, known as the negativity bias, is a product of our evolutionary history. Learning the skill of cultivating happiness and finding the positive is a helpful balance to this bias.
The Role of Script in Happiness
Often, our unhappiness is linked to the stories we tell ourselves. These internal narratives, or scripts, can be habitual, generational and limit our ability to experience joy. For instance, if you have a script that says, "I'm not good enough," it can block feelings of happiness and contentment.
By becoming aware of our scripts, we can begin to challenge and rewrite them. This process can be a powerful tool for increasing happiness and well-being.
Reframing
One powerful tool for increasing happiness is reframing. This involves changing your perspective on a situation to find a more positive interpretation. It’s about looking for the silver lining, even in the darkest of storms. Happiness and positivity can exist alongside sadness and negativity.
Why is reframing so important?
Reduces Stress: By focusing on the positive, we can reduce our stress levels and improve our overall mental health.
Increases Resilience: Reframing helps us bounce back from challenges with greater ease and strength.
Enhances Relationships: A positive outlook can improve our interactions with others, leading to stronger connections.
Boosts Creativity: When we see things from a different perspective, we open ourselves up to new ideas and solutions.
Create New Neural Pathways: When we consistently practise reframing, we are essentially training our brains to form new neural connections. Over time, this can weaken the automatic negative response and strengthen our ability to see the positive.
How can you start reframing?
Challenge negative thoughts: When you find yourself thinking negatively, question the validity of your thoughts. Are they based on facts or assumptions?
Focus on what you can control: Instead of dwelling on things you can't change, focus on what you can do to improve the situation.
Practice gratitude: Regularly acknowledging the things you're grateful for can shift your focus to the positive aspects of your life.
Find the silver lining: Look for opportunities for growth and learning in challenging situations. Even something as stressful as moving house can have joyful elements to it.
Seek support: Talking to a friend, family member, therapist or coach can help you develop new perspectives.
Remember, reframing isn't about ignoring negative emotions. It's about finding balance and recognising that challenges can also be opportunities for growth and learning. By practicing reframing, you can cultivate a more positive outlook and increase your overall happiness.
Happiness is a journey and an experience not a one off event. Try making this Happiness Happens month a starting point for reconnecting with the happier, more joyful parts of you.
A Guided Reframing Exercise
Let’s try a simple reframing exercise inspired by Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). This technique is called "Opposite Action."
Identify a challenging situation: Think of a situation that's been causing you stress or unhappiness.
Identify your usual reaction: What is your automatic response to this situation?
Do the opposite: Instead of reacting in your usual way, do the opposite. For example, if you tend to isolate yourself, reach out to someone. If you criticise yourself, try to be kind to yourself.
Observe the outcome: Notice how acting differently affects your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours.
Remember, this is just a starting point. With practice, reframing can become a powerful tool for increasing your happiness and wellbeing.